Patience and Enjoyment

I am truly envious of those who have learned, or perhaps have yet to forget, how to enjoy even the smallest detail of a day.   I continue to remind myself to smile daily. Sad really, when written down (or typed as this case may be).   I am NOT a sad person in general, but I think I may have forgotten to enjoy as much as I can.  Something to reflect on.

I have been trying to stop myself as soon as an annoyance starts to prick up.  Take a breath, and quit the hurry.  I always seem to be in such a hurry.  Hurry and make dinner,  hurry and change the diaper, all so we can get back to hurry and do something else.  Instead, I should be slowing down to ENJOY making dinner, and not just getting it done.  I should pay more heed to how much Millie and Duncan both ADORE the undivided attention given to them when diaper changing time comes around. (though I should still hurry through the actual procedure, yuck.)

Maybe there are two kinds of people.  Those who possess patience, and those who strive to.  I must be part of the latter group.  I am pretty sure that a patient person would not have to remind themselves that something is cute, or happy, or even a learning experience.

 I can only hope that someday I will have patience in my possession.  I hear it is given to you when you become a grandparent, retire, have a brush with death, and I have even heard it called laziness. The last one I have deemed impossible. I am really good at being lazy, but it still drives me crazy. I have been around many people that I feel are infinitely patient, and lazy is NEVER a word I would use to describe any aspect of them.

My husband calls my impatience worry.  Phrases I often hear from him are; "What is wrong, why are you so worried about it?",  and   "Would you relax a little and quit worrying so much."   I must have some very deep seeded trust issues ingrained in me or something.  My usual responses include "Well, someone has to [worry].",  and  " Yes, but what if... (usually followed by worst case scenario)."   In the end he sighs, I give in, we both laugh about it, and the worst case scenario rarely happens.   Even the times that they do occur have turned out alright in the end.  For example, Chris and I had never really lived away from family until he joined the Air Force.  We joked while he was in Tech School waiting for his first assignment.   "... where is the worst place they could send us, Alaska? hahaha".  And sure enough, our first base was Alaska!   However, when we got there we fell in Love with it. (I admit, the winters there are long enough to forget how much we loved it at times).   We had some of the most memorable experiences, got to see some of the most beautiful scenery, and met some amazing people.

So maybe I should worry a LITTLE less, some of the time...

At any rate, it isn't about worry to me.  It is about enjoyment.  Seeing the little things in life, even the things that annoy me, and learning to enjoy the moments.  Hopefully, eventually, I won't have to try so hard or remind myself as often.  I will be granted the gift of true patience, and just relax.  Until then, I have found someone that is making me a big framed plaque... it is going to read; "God, grant me the patience to enjoy my blessings." I am sure that I have seen it as a quote somewhere, or something like it.  I don't know where I am going to put it yet.  Should be somewhere that I see it, often.  Chris joked that I should get it tattooed on Duncan's forehead.  That way Chris would remember too.  He didn't mention Millie yet, but I have noticed him use the phrase, "annoyingly cute" quite often in description of her.

We truly are spoiled in our blessings. I am determined to enjoy every minute of them... whether I want to or not...