I can handle all of this...that is to say WE can handle all of this, right?
Lets start from the beginning.
The last day of June we found out that we were expecting another baby. That's right folks, our last two children are only going to be 13 months apart... if we are lucky. I was NOT happy about it. We had discussed the possibility of having another child in a few years... maybe... but not any time soon. So it isn't as though this child wont be "wanted", just a little (a lot) too soon for us. We decided not to tell anyone, at all, until after we were given the "all clear and healthy" from the Dr. and I scheduled the first appointment as far down the road as possible. It probably seems pretty negative as you are reading this. I will admit, I couldn't find anything nice to say about it for weeks, but it is, ever so slowly, growing on us and sinking into reality that it might not be the end of the world. Not completely anyway. I am going to work on
convincing Chris to make gender a surprise. I figure that would be something we could really look forward to and we really don't need to worry about clothes or gear considering we just had a baby girl and I kept my favorites from Duncan's wardrobe. I don't know how far that will fly with Chris though, he gets pretty anxious about it.
Chris went out of town shortly after we found out I was pregnant. For some this next sentence may come as a shock, and I will admit it takes a great feat of courage to actually let the world know, but Chris and I have been on a roller coaster ride with our marriage for a long time, years even. While he was gone my limit was reached and I was pushed over the edge. I made the decision to file for divorce as soon as I could. I didn't really have much of a plan (the decision was made in the middle of the night) and I felt a little... I don't know what the word would be really, Stranded, maybe. Luckily I called Peggy and Curtis (yup, even in the middle of the night). They were able to give me some direction and just let me know that it would be okay. The next day I was able to make some phone calls and a wonderful friend came over and sat with me, just to talk about what was going on and what my options were. I was able to sit down and decide if I wanted our marriage to work anymore, and under what "stipulations", or if I was truly "done" and didn't want to chance the hurt anymore. Late that very night Peggy came to the house and stayed with me. She was able to share some of her experiences and lessons with me without putting any pressure on me for a choice in either direction. For the first time in a long time I felt I was in control of the situations I faced with either decision I made. I chose to try a different approach and give it another go. This time I would have support and less fear about the result. I knew it would either work and go one way, slowly, but happily. Or it wouldn't work out and we (the children and I) had good options that would be difficult, but not put us in an uncomfortable or stranded situation. Members from our church got involved and we both (me and Chris) had a good support system behind us. It has been a bumpy ride for both of us so far. Two steps forward and three back some days, but we both know what we want and what should be expected of us for a good outcome. In the end we have both learned a great deal about each other as well as finding that we both have people that care for us very much and are more willing than we would have ever known, to help in any way. Chris moved to a friends house for a few weeks while we sorted the major things through. In the midst of the smoke we made an emergency trip to Utah for my grandma and we were forced to talk out where things went wrong and why as we drove the 600+ miles in the middle of the night.
Speaking of my grandma... My grandma's health declined really quickly after some neurological issues she had been suffering from throughout June. My mom had made some plans to see her at the end of the month (July) for her birthday, but plans were bumped up when my aunt Robin called and said that things were getting really bad. My mom flew down a week later to try and help get things sorted out. While at one of her doctors visits my grandma had an "episode" and they kept her in hospital to run some more tests. She continued to decline while there and in the end had two really bad seizures. When I was told about the severity and that it didn't look like she would recover well the decision was made to make a trip down to Utah. It was a good trip, even though it was based on a somber note. The children did well on the car rides, and family was able to play with them. Chris and I were able to have some good conversations and even find some of that lost spark of wry humor that we had been missing for at least a week. We were able to see Brittni and Rick before they left for Qatar, AND watch Brittni play her flute. I was able to affirm a good connection and really talk to my aunt Robbie, who has been taking care of grandma. Hopefully even help a little with her fears in a stressful situation. Most importantly we were able to see and talk with my grandma. For those of you who don't know me very well, my grandma is a very dominant figure in my life. She has played nearly every character for me as I grow up. Mother, Grandmother, spectator, dictator, hero, villain, and hero again. We have a very special relationship that can't really be measured against anything. Chris and I both owe her a great deal, and at the same time, it isn't really a relationship that "owes" to anyone, it is very difficult to describe. In the first visit at the hospital I was surprised to find myself completely reassured that she would improve from this one. The very next day her lungs had rid themselves on enough carbon monoxide to take out the breathing tube. The next day she was speaking and already wanted to go home. The day after we left, she did go home. Now, that isn't to say that she SHOULD have gone home, she forced it and luckily had the support system in place to do it. however, the fact that she could force a release in and of itself was reassuring. She was always completely coherent while we were there and neither Chris, nor I felt that this was "the end". We were very grateful for the opportunity to go down and be with her all the same. Hopefully, in the end, it helped her spirit too.
The week we returned from Utah was pretty hectic. I was able to get my drivers license (something that kept being put off since we moved to Montana). We had new windows and a new front door installed. Chris was able to get the front yard sprinklers working. Chris moved back into the house. I went to the dentist (and had work done, not just a check) for the first time in many years. Duncan and Millie went to a babysitter, for the first time, together, that wasn't family (I think it was harder on me). I went out and spent time with friends, without kids, for the first time since we moved to Montana. It was quite a week.
The next week was just as busy. We did a McDonald family skype to see Brittni and Rick off a few days before they left for Qatar. We told the "immediate clan" that we were expecting. We had our first doctors appointment for the new baby, complete with pictures. We then let everyone else know that we were expecting (" 'cause you know it isn't official until you put it on facebook." ) We spent the next couple of days getting chastised and talking on the phone with the rest of the family and friends that found out. Then, out of the blue, and to our complete surprise, Chris received some crazy news. He had ORDERS, to Alaska! The kicker, the report date was set for the 31st of January. Five months to get everything in order and only three weeks before new baby!!!
My first reaction was a mix of excitement and horror... I am pretty sure that is what went through Chris as well. considering his words were... "oh no, really, wait a minute this couldn't be... ummmm I think I just got orders. I did, to Alaska!. Oh dear, in January... this coming January. Don't worry, I am sure it will be alright, I have to get some more information about this, I will call you back." He did try to get more information, mostly because I was completely freaked out at this point. There wasn't much more info to be had though. We did find out that we could try and extend the orders for new baby. It will take six weeks to hear back on that. Then the manic started in me. grasping at something to try and have order. It still hasn't worked to great yet, but I am trying. Chris and I have a running joke as to why he suddenly received orders. There is the fact that a new BX is being built (every base that we have been to starts construction on a new base exchange that is nearly completed when we leave). We just got "settled" and comfortable here in Montana, and our house, and felt pretty good about staying for a while. We did some house projects that were for "long term" benefit. We both found some friends. We became more active in our ward. The list goes on and on. We add to it daily. One of our biggest jokes is that we had a realtor come over just after we found out I was pregnant. Just to see what the market was like and what we should do to sell the house or if we even could. It was suggested that we stay in it for at least one more year so that we had some equity built up and could list it for the right price. We talked about it and decided that we could make three kids, a dog, a cat, and two exhausted parents all fit in this house for a while longer. We could even do a few things in the house that we had been wanting to do instead of putting them off for things that we needed to do for resale value. Yup, that's why Chris got orders.
By the next week we had two Realtors working with us. A plan was set to get the house sold, and the work had started. Naturally we planned to get as much done on the weekend as possible. I have come to believe that things don't work out simply because we make "a plan". The base is in an exercise and inspection all week, which turned into the weekend. We now have one more day to finish up on the house before they come and take pictures and then let people walk through it. Tomorrow is Sunday. A day of rest, but not for the weary Montana McDonald clan. Church and then work till we can't stand anymore. I am sure that Chris will look forward to work on Monday, just to get away from the house and the rest of the people that live there with him.
Hopefully the house will sell quickly so that we can move on to the new dilemma of where we are going to live when it sells, how we are going to get our stuff all packed up and moved ourselves while still making it accessible enough for the real movers to actually pack it up for the big move. What we are going to do with the animals, and all of that fun stuff that I am really trying not to think about or do much about until the house sells. One step at a time, right? I tend to jump fifteen steps ahead and I miss out on what is happening during the present step. I have faith that it will all work out for us (but a few extra prayers are always welcome).
So there you have it. All of our news from the last 36 days. Stay tuned for the next addition. Hopefully I will be able to keep the next few blogs small and sweet, with a splash of big news thrown in... like our house sold or we have gender or something for new baby.
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